Flying by...

I can't believe December is almost over! This month has been full. I'm sorry I've been absent for the last 2 weeks. BUSY! BUSY! BUSY! 

First things first: Hilary decided to trust Jesus as Lord of her life! Pray that she continues to experience the peace and joy of being His daughter. Ask that the baby-steps she takes will give her habits that will create a lifestyle of obedience. Pray that her little light in this dark place shines brightly. Ask that I have wisdom in how to encourage and edify her!

CHRISTMAS! We had a really wonderful Christmas. There were some sad moments: really missing family and stress in our city. But, for the most part it was full of fun and laughter, gifts and joy. We had two Christmas parties with our national friends. At each we were able to share the Christmas story and our testimonies and give away copies of Luke and Acts. Ask that the seeds that were planted will fall on fertile soil! Also pray for direction for us on how to follow up with the people we shared with. On Christmas Eve we began a tradition of eating at Pizza Hut! YUM! Yes, we have a Pizza Hut in our city. They don't deliver and are more like a sit-down five star restaurant than those in the states, but the supreme pizza is delicious! Christmas morning was action packed watching our sweet 18 month old open presents and show family on video chat every gift that was opened. We joined our friends here for an awesome meal and then an afternoon of wii and an evening of Christmas movies and second helpings of our delicious meal. 

So I have a funny story to share. It has a little bit to do with our theme of time flying by. My mom and I are able to talk most days either on the phone or the computer. About a week and a half ago we were on the phone and my mom kept mentioning how we had spoken last night. Now, I was certain that we hadn't spoken last night. We kept going back and forth both certain we were right about how the events had played out and suddenly we realized. We were talking about completely different times and we were both completely right even though what we were saying was completely conflicting with what the other was saying! HA! Let me explain a bit more so you're not left spinning. When I wake up in the morning my mom is about to go to bed. See the confusion. We had spoken last night for her, but it was two days ago for me because we were talking in the morning of the next day my time. Anyway, we're nearly three months into this different time zone and still have goofy mix-ups. Funny.

Happy New Year!

Kari

Joy Overflowing...

Despite the fact that today I felt completely blah, despite the fact that I am tired and not feeling great, and despite the fact that I felt useless and empty today HE USED ME!

It took longer than we expected to find a tutor. I needed someone who could meet near my home, during the baby's nap and would do a good job teaching me this difficult language. Today I am more confident than ever that God was holding out for His perfect plan. It's not simply that I needed those first couple months to find an apartment, get settled in, and learn my way around the city. He was also hand-picking the girl for the job. We'll call her Hilary. She and I met this past Friday. It was a good meeting. We enjoyed getting to know each other a little bit, talked over details about when and where we would meet and how much money I would pay her. Lessons began on Monday afternoon, and continued Tuesday and then today. They went really well. She is a sweet girl, just a few months younger than I am. We have many things in common despite having incredibly different backgrounds and cultures. 

Before I jump into everything that happened while we were together this afternoon I need to tell you about my day. My daughter woke up before I did which meant my quiet time was almost non-existent. Nothing horrible happened this morning, but I just didn't feel great, wasted quite a bit of time on the computer and was feeling really blah. By the time the baby went down for a nap and I had a second to myself I only had 10 minutes until I needed to leave for my lesson so I picked up my journal. This is what I wrote:

"I'm tired Father, feeling spent - lazy, BLAH! Wash over me. Use me this afternoon with Hilary. Allow me to hear Your voice. I confess my weaknesses and failures today. Draw me near to You through grace and steadfast love."

And so, I put on my scarf, coat, boots and hat and grabbed my books to head out the door. I got to the local eatery where we study and Hilary was there waiting for me. We jumped right into our study time. After doing some review from the previous days we began to learn some vocabulary about marriage. 

-Are you married?

-How long have you been married?

-I found a good husband.

When she began to tell me how to translate "I found a good husband," I told her that God gave me a good husband. She said, "Oh, do you believe in God?" I told her that I do and then we went back to studying and learning new vocabulary. 

A little while later she said something, that I can't for the life of me remember, and it set of bells in my head (basically God saying, SHARE YOUR STORY!). So I did. I told her that although I had always had a good family and friends there was a time in my life that I felt empty. I would lay in bed and wonder, "What is the point of all of this?" It was only after I began to know God and understand Him that I realized He is the point of life. True life is found only in Him. She told me that when she was away for college she met a foreign couple that had a really good marriage. They told her it was because of their relationship with God and His teachings in the Bible. They gave her a Bible and shared with her, she even watched the Jesus film with them. She told me that until today she thought that she could not have a relationship with God because it was so different from what she had heard when she was growing up. I shared with her that He loves her and has a wonderful plan for her life. I could see the hope growing in her face and her countenance. We were both close to tears and I was literally shaking with excitement. She told me that she really wants to believe. I told her that she can ask God to show Himself to her. I told her that she can pray to Him anytime and He will hear her. I asked her if I could pray for her right then and she said yes. I prayed for her. I asked God to continue to show Himself to her and to allow her to understand how much He loves her. She told me that when she had watched the Jesus film before it had really moved her and that she had cried when she saw what Jesus had done. I told her that because of His gift she can have a relationship with God. I had a key-chain in my bag in the shape of a heart. On one side it says "Incomparable Love" and on the other side it says John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life." I gave her the key-chain and she said she would cherish it. It is written in her language. She also said that tonight she would "Give it a try." She would try to pray to God and ask Him to let her have a relationship with her.

WOW! I am so excited and thankful. Please be praying for Hilary. Pray that her faith, however small, would be strengthened and that tonight she truly will take a step to trust the Father with her heart. She has all of the facts now she just needs to make the decision!

The joy that is over-flowing in my heart comes because I am so aware of the Father's work in my life. You see, today I was a shell of myself, but He filled me up. In my weakness He showed His strength. Today he did a miracle in my life and in the life of my new friend. 

My God is living and active!

-Kari

God-sized Reminders

Confession time...Life lately has been a constant battle to keep from getting down. I'm tired, and I'm beginning to realize that daily life here is really daily life. This isn't just a short-term venture...we're here for the long-haul. I think it has been a little more difficult for several reasons. 1) We've been here for 2 months and it's just starting to set in that this is really home. 2) It is holiday time and that makes me really miss "home" and all that I'm used to about the holidays (i.e. MY FAMILY!). 3) My baby is beginning to hit frustration stage. She is still as happy as can be for the most part, but when she knows what she wants to do but can't do it all by herself she is devastated. As you can imagine, that is quite wearing.

Even though I've been in this battle with pity party mode it has been impossible for me to avoid all of God's amazing reminders to me.

-For starters I have a husband who loves me and encourages me constantly. We have a blast together and are really enjoying being each other's best friend.

-My daughter offers tons of opportunities each day to LOL - laugh out loud! She is hilarious and it is a joy to watch her learn and discover and play. It is so special each morning to watch her eyes light up when she wakes up and comes into the living room and sees the Christmas tree. Even in her young age she knows this is special stuff! Throughout the day today she would grab my arm and pull me towards the tree and say, "moh ismas, moh ismas." As far as I can translate, this means "more Christmas"! How precious! She loves for us to go over to the tree together and look at the lights and different ornaments (it did make me wish for some more personal and special ornaments though).

God has offered some huge reminders of why He has us here and all He is doing in my life in the process (boy oh boy is He refining me and tilling the soil in my garden!). We had several new friends over to our house the other night. My friend who is a sister shared that two of the girls that came with her have responded well to God's truth and are going to go with her to church on Sunday. We hope to begin having a Bible study in our home with them and are praying that they make Jesus the Lord of their lives! God showed Himself powerful in my life today. I met a girl-friend for lunch and shopping today and took my daughter with me. There were some Christmas decorations up in the restaurant where we ate and I was able to share God's complete story: creation, Christmas, and true life in Christ! My friend was not ready to make a decision, but she was very open and asked some good questions. I will continue to plant seeds in her life and pray that God waters them and makes His truth grow in her life.

Now, I'm sitting here tonight. I had a full day. It was a good day. My legs ache from the 3 hours out with my growing girl. 2 bus rides. A meal. A walk to a mall and through a mall. Holding her 20 some pounds the entire time. She doesn't like to walk when we're out because everyone tries to touch her. I should have taken the sling or ergo pack, but when we're all bundled up for the cold it is kind of awkward to carry her like that.

It is snowing outside. It is really beautiful. The next couple days are supposed to be very cold, in the teens Fahrenheit. Pray for me and my daughter. With the really cold weather we may not be able to get outside much, ask that we won't get antsy, but that we'll think of fun things to do inside and that I will be productive inside and use that time to "continue steadfastly in prayer" as it says in Colossians 4:2.

I've been holding out on you all. The really huge God-sized reminder today was His precious, living, active Word.

Psalm 94:18-19

When I thought, "My foot slips," your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.

When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.

How quick my awesome God is to rush in with love and compassion. As Psalm 139:7 says, "Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?" And my personal paraphrase of Psalm 139:8-10 is this, "If I ascend to America, you are there! If I make my bed in Asia, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the World, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me." I have thought more than once over the last few days, "My foot is slipping." But His steadfast love is holding me up. Although my heart is heavy laden, His consolation, His understanding, His willingness to let me mourn all of the transitions in life cheer my soul and put my focus back onto Him.

Thank You, Father, for YOU-sized reminders. Your love. Your faithfulness. Your peace. Your joy.

All for HIS glory and fame,

Kari

(and once again, because I just have to end on this note)

Psalm 94:18-19

When I thought, "My foot slips," your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.

When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.

What to say...

I have all sorts of thoughts running through my head tonight but I can't quite get them to settle down. Today was a really wonderful Thanksgiving. It actually felt like a holiday. Our meal was delicious, and the fellowship a real treat. When we left our friends house tonight I remembered quite abruptly that no one around us was celebrating today. All day long it had truly felt like Thanksgiving. We prepared an amazing meal and enjoyed eating it. We had apple cider and homemade pies. We played games and watched a Christmas movie. And then we went outside. It was a completely normal Thursday here. People all around us went to work, school and went about their daily activities. I was reminded that my husband even had to cut class in order to enjoy our day. It made me a little bit sad. I'm so thankful that our country has a day focused on thanks. I'm so thankful that as a child of God I have an opportunity to give thanks to the Giver of all.

Here is a quote and a few verses that have been special to me this Thanksgiving day.

"There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy."

Colossians 2:6-7
Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.

James 1:17
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Psalm 118:1
Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever.

Quite thankful,
Kari

Top 10 Frustrations

10. Incessant horn honking

9. Water off all day long without warning

8. Bagged milk...spills constantly

7. Burnt toast

6. No cabinet space

5. Not understanding what people try to tell you

4. Being hot inside and cold outside

3. Waiting 45 minutes for lunch and not knowing how to ask where it is

2. Trying to keep baby hands germ free in a place where NO ONE washes hands

1. Getting stared at all day long

But honestly...I don't have anything to complain about. God is so good and so faithful. Life is really different here and some days it seems so impossible. With God all things are possible.

Smile,

Kari

How does your garden grow?

"With silver bells and cockle shells and pretty maids all in a row"? I know what I would like to see growing in my garden. His fruit. I want my life to be a beautiful display of His gardening skills. Yikes. Do I really know what I am saying? If I really want Him to be at work in the garden that is my life it means digging, sowing, and sharp clippers. Ouch! But if I desire the fruit of His Spirit to be displayed (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control), and I truly do, it means I must be willing to go through the pruning necessary.

I've been thinking about patience a lot lately. I've noticed that I'm very impatient. I've decided it is not the impatience that is the problem but my reaction to impatience. It exudes itself in an ugly way in my life. It looks like anger, frustration and snipity-ness. The other day the three of us were heading out into the cold. I was holding the little one, both of us bundled in such a way that made motion difficult. My husband was taking forever to get out the door. I said something like, "Honey, are you COMING?" He said, "Just a minute." And in my head I said, "I'm growing impatient." Now, that's not a phrase I typically use out loud. It sounds kind of funny to me. But nonetheless its what came to mind. Almost immediately after it did I heard in my head, "Why don't you grow patience instead." WOW! Talk about as close as it gets to hearing God speak audibly. It was a neat enough thought to make me laugh a little bit and I decided quickly it was stupid to be impatient. Just chill.

So, I've flunked the patience exam about 10 times this week. He's really using the trimming shears now. But, I'm a work in progress and I'm so thankful He's willing to work in my garden. I've been sitting here picturing gardens. You know, there are the simple type: nice straight rows of vegetables, and there are elaborate Victorian gardens where the flowers and vines flow together. I wonder what my garden looks like. I'm aware of lots of weeds that need to be pulled, and there is some over-growth that needs to be taken back so that new, fresh growth can come. There are also a couple of patches that are very dry and need to be watered. There's a beautiful section of flowers that are covered up by some kudzu vines that have taken over, I'd love to get rid of those so the flowers can be seen. Do you get it, or have I taken this comparison way to far?

Father, I ask you to enter the gate of my garden. Bring your tools and your tenderness. Pull away at the weeds, pour out your living water, prune what is dead, overgrown and useless, and most importantly continue to plant more of yourself that all may see Your light and beauty.

~Kari

Answered Questions

1) My daughter has grown a huge appetite! The past few weeks she has only nursed about twice a week, the last time being 6 days ago! She is back to enjoying her scrambled eggs and her new faves are "puhtay and passta" (potatoes and pasta)! After spending a month in our new home, my kitchen is set up and I am able to control how often and what I can offer her. Please do pray that she continues to eat well, and that I learn how to buy all of my groceries in another language!

2) What does daily life look like? Hmmm, that question, which i got nearly a dozen times in my e-mail box is a little bit more difficult to answer. But, I'll do my best. I get up about 6:30 and take a shower. Sometimes, if I feeling extra energetic I make some muffins and have some cider. But for the most part after my shower I park it on the couch for some QT with the King of Kings. My husband is gone from 7:00-1:00 for his studies. My little one has been waking up somewhere between 7:15 and 8:30. Once she wakes up we get milk and cuddle on the couch for a little while. For the next hour or so we work on breakfast, getting baby dressed, diapered, and playing the whole time. Three times a week we have a house helper to clean. The environment here is much dirtier than what we were used to in the states, and it is difficult to keep the house clean. I'm very thankful for LJ, and my little one absolutely loves to play with her. She's even learning the language from her. She isn't a believer so we take every opportunity to practice our limited language saying, "God loves you. Jesus loves you." She typically just smiles and giggles a little bit. She knows almost zero English. On Sunday mornings we join our friends in the city for worship and then enjoy a meal together. Yesterday we had Mexican food! It was so exciting! We had soft tacos, chips and salsa, and my famous black bean and corn salad! YUMMY! On Monday mornings we have prayer time with a sister in the city, those of us with little ones aren't able to get out and about the city as much as our husbands and those here without kids, so we try to be like Aaron, holding up the arms of Moses. We spend that special time lifting up the team and work here. One morning a week I go prayer walking in a new part of the city. My little one loves to ride on my back in the Ergo Pack. The other mornings we may go to the grocery store, or take a bus downtown. The other day we took a bus all by ourselves, found an art store and purchased a canvas, a set of acrylic paints and 3 paint brushes! It was exciting. My little girl is starting to get used to all of the comments about how beautiful she is and how yellow her hair is. They don't have a word for blond in this language! Our favorite lunches to eat while at home are peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, baked potatoes with salsa, and pasta. Our favorite lunches to eat out on the town are beef noodle soup and KFC. The sweet one naps after lunch for about 2 hours. While she naps I catch up on computer stuff, read, take a nap every once and while, run to the grocery store, or play wii with my hubbie. Once the baby wakes up the three of us take off to learn our way around the city. We've really enjoyed the bus system, it's inexpensive and everyone is really great about offering a seat to those with little ones. Our favorite dinner to eat in is roasted chicken, butternut squash and steamed broccoli. Our favorite dinners to eat out are the local steak house, actually modeled after Outback...it's delicious, we love all of the local foods as well, but its still difficult for us to order on our own! In the evenings we enjoy family time, time with friends, and keeping inside and away from the bitter cold! We're trying to meet lots of friends and begin building relationships, but with limited language it is difficult. Also pray that we will know where to find everyone when it is so cold outside! The baby goes to sleep at 7:30 and my hub and I enjoy playing cards, watching movies and studying language.

I hope this has helped everyone to see a bit more into daily life in ASIA! And answered some questions.

Stay tuned for a journal entry about "growing impatient versus growing patience."

With joy,
Kari

My cup...

My morning was so happy. I had a cup of my favorite peppermint tea with lemon and honey, two raisin bran muffins and my Bible and journal (my 16 month old slept in until 8:30 and my time was amazing!!!!).

Many people think my life living in Asia is glamorous and adventurous, and at times it is. But I'm just a normal girl trying to seek this great big God, and the scope of my eyes can only understand a glimpse or a shadow at time.

This past week I was studying Ephesians. I've spent a lot of time meditating on chapter 3:14-21. As it says in verses 18-19 it is my prayer that I "may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses all knowledge..." God really impressed upon my heart how huge He is. He gave me that picture of what I can understand: a glimpse or a shadow, so small and partial. But oh, my desire is to know Him so deeply and to walk with Him so closely, to truly know the whole of Him.

Andrew Murray said in the forward of his book Waiting on God, "The great lack of our faith is that we do not know God. The answer to every complaint of feebleness and failure, the message to every congregation or convention seeking instruction on holiness, ought to simply be, What is the matter: Have you not God? If you really believe in God, He will make everything all right. God is willing and able by His Holy Spirit. Cease from expecting the least good from yourself, or the least help from anything there is in man. Just yield yourself unreservedly to God to work in you. He will do all for you."

So, that is what I desire to do. I strive to yield myself unreservedly to God, to walk closely with Him, to abide in Him, so that He is able by His Holy Spirit to work His good in me. As I finished studying Ephesians tonight the very last verse in the book stood out to me. Ephesians 6;24 says, "Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible." That phrase "love incorruptible" caused me to pause and think on my love for the Lord for a little while. In my mind when I think of things that are incorruptible I think of purity, holiness, things that cannot go bad. The more I thought on it the more I realized outside of the power of God I can think of nothing in this world that is incorruptible other than His love. So it is His gift of incorruptible love that allows me to seek Him with in fact that very same incorruptible love.

Father, continue to pour Your grace over me, allowing your strength to be made very present in my abundant weaknesses.

~Kari

P.S. My coffee mug and muffin cups are empty now, but my cup overflows. :-)

Tring to "un-pack"

I've been reading Psalm 69 and I'm trying to "un-pack" it. David must have really been at a low point in his life. People are seeking to destroy him. Verses 5 and 6 really stood out to me.

"O God, you know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you. Let not those who hope in you be put to shame through me, O Lord God of hosts; let not those who seek you be brought to dishonor through me, O God of Israel."

So, I'm not sure what David's folly was but I know my own. And even more than that my sin is not hidden from the Lord. What an amazing prayer David prayed out of his own sin. "Let not those who hope in you be put to shame through me...let not those who seek you be brought to dishonor through me." O that is my prayer too. May my shortcomings, my sin, my selfishness, my attitudes never allow those around me to stumble. May my sin never tempt or thwart a sister or brother in their walk with God.

I also love verse 13.
"But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness."

My paraphrase, "Father, I ask you, in your timing and in your way answer me. You have so much constant love to give me and your faithfulness provides safety for me, thank you Father."

In verse 19 God's all-knowing characteristic is reiterated.
"You know my reproach, and my shame and my dishonor; my foes are all known to you."

He knows it all. In verses 20-21 David said that in his reproach he sought pity from others. He sought comfort from others. He sought food and wine to make himself feel better. None of it satisfied. In verse 29 he came to the only hope for satisfaction and healing.
"But I am afflicted and in pain; let your salvation, O God, set me on high! I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify him with thanksgiving."

But oh my goodness, what is so awesome is his focus once again goes to those around him. At first he didn't want those around him to stumble and be discouraged or dishonored because of his sin. Now he is choosing to be thankful, to seek God and worship him and about this he says in verse 32--
"When the humble see it they will be glad; you who seek God, let your hearts revive."

Wow, I want that to be my desire. I want to be more concerned with those around me than with myself.

Verse 34 says, "Let heaven and earth praise him, the seas and everything that moves in them."

If my focus is God, praising Him at all times and in all circumstances, then those who witness my life will see me living a testimony that points to Him. (vs 32) "WHEN THE HUMBLE SEE IT THEY WILL BE GLAD; YOU WHO SEEK GOD, LET YOUR HEARTS REVIVE."

Peace is joy resting.
Joy is peace dancing.
Kari

Making it.

I'm making it. Mawn mar lie. That's what we say here for a little bit at a time.

Psalm 68:19, 35
Blessed be the Lord who daily bears us up. God is our salvation. Awesome is God from his sanctuary; the God of Israel - he is the one who gives power and strength to his people.

It is he who carries me. Each day is different. There are joys and frustrations, there are disappointments and hopes. There are even some victories.

He is my source of strength. I am so weak. On my own I can do nothing. I'm discovering that I am a little bit shy. I have been nervous about making friends in my new country. I met a sister a few weeks ago and had been putting off calling her. I called her yesterday and she was so excited to hear from me. I think the Father is going to use our relationship to build one another up and strengthen one another. We are getting together for girl time and dinner tomorrow night. I'm really looking forward to it.

May I be an example of depending on His strength and not my own, for it is he who is carrying me.

My joy is resting today.
Kari

So Many Songs

There is so much in my heart bursting to get out. I'm in the middle of a massive life transition. Some days I feel like I'm doing ok...maybe even doing well. Other days I feel like I can barely put one foot in front of the other. I have a young daughter, an amazing husband and I live in a country where I know only several phrases in the language. Daily tasks are difficult and building relationships, well, nearly impossible.
But, I'm here. Only because of His steadfast love. Did you ever notice how many times that phrase "steadfast love" is in the Psalms? In the ESV it is repeated 126 times in the Psalms and 194 in the whole Bible. His love is so amazing. Yesterday was a real low point for me. My daughter is petite, still nursing and not eating solid food consistently enough. Our old stand-by was scrambled eggs. She rejected the scrambled eggs. She is asking to nurse all the time but really needs to start slowing down...
Anyway, I was really in anguish, just crying out to God, asking Him to help me care for my 16 month old. He lead me to Psalm 59:16-17.
"But I will sing of your strength; I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning. For you have been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress. O my Strength, I will sing praises to you, for you, O God, are my fortress, the God who shows me steadfast love."
So, I'm here to share my songs. I sing in spite of distress, confusion, fears, and failures. I sing because His steadfast love is amazing.
~Kari